"Newborn" Photos

So these pics may have been taken when they were almost 12 weeks old ... BUT they were the size of newborns - so I am calling them "Newborn photos".  Here are some of my favorite!

 Ella & Sadie

 Paige & Ella; Ryan & Sadie

 Ella & Sadie

 Ella's feet (and Ryan's hands) on the left. 

 Ella (upside down) & Sadie

 Ella & Sadie 

(I think this is my favorite of the two of them together)

Ella 

Sadie 

 Ella

Sadie

I really have no sarcastic comments to add... these AMAZING photos speak for themselves.  And they are saying, "clearly the most adorable children to grace this planet."  Yes, I am THAT parent.  :)

Also, another shout out to the photographer, Amy Slick: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Slick-Photography/147152275364298.  She is obviously fantastic!

#AnotherFail

Meet Ashley.  

Isn't she stunning?? 

I should also mention the talented photographer, Amy Slick! 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Slick-Photography/147152275364298

Ashley is a close friend who is expecting twin girls (Ella and Sadie are SO excited).  Ella, Sadie and I were so excited to have been invited to celebrate!  So we woke up Saturday morning (yesterday), the girls ate, we picked out some cute clothes, gave the girls a bath, packed the diaper bag, and headed to the car. That may sound simple... but that was easily 2 hours of prep time. 

On our way out to the shower, my GPS said I would be arriving 3 minutes late.  I fought the Starbucks urge and drove straight to the shower.  Unfortunately, my GPS led me to a random neighborhood.  I finally got online and looked up the address and realized I was about 7 miles east of where I needed to be.  So... we headed West.  

When I got to what I believed to be the correct address, I parked my car and as I was about to get out I realized that there were really not very many cars.  I didn't see Ashley's car or any of our other friends' cars.  Eventually the homeowner came to the front door and looked out - it did not appear that there was a baby shower at this house... so I called Ryan and asked him to look it up again. 

By now I am 30 minutes late, had been in the car for about an hour, the girls were starting to get restless, and I was very frustrated.  Ryan says that according to what he looked up, I am in the correct location.  I use some naughty language and leave - I know there is nothing going on at that house...  While stopped at a red light (seems like an insignificant detail - but I feel the need to clarify that I wasn't studying invitations while driving with two babies in the car) I checked the invitation for the 100th time to make sure I really did have the correct address.  I did.  Then I looked and saw where it said "Sunday, September 22nd".  Problem: yesterday was Saturday, September 21st.  #AnotherFail.

I called Ryan to explain.  Then felt the need to call Sarah (the poor hostess whose house I was creeping) and Ashley.  Mortifying.  The good news?  I now know where Sarah lives (so I won't be late TODAY) and the girls looked REALLY cute!

....

You know when you have to do something but life gets busy, so you put it off.  Then enough time has passed that the task seems overwhelming?  Then eventually, you just don't even know where to start.

That is where I am with this blog.  I thought I would stop after the girls came home (which, clearly, I have been successful in); however, I quickly realized this was a much more efficient way of keeping friends and family posted.  Also, when you've produced children as cute as mine, it is kind of fun to write about them and our daily adventures!! :) 

So what has happened since the eye exam on July 20?  A lot.  But we'll just start with our great escape from the Hotel Mercy...

On July 22nd, Ella took the liberty pulling out her feeding tube. Although certainly not the first time she had done this, we decided to leave it out and see if she could eat on her own this time.  Guess what!  She did!!  Five days later, she came home with us.  She has been eating well ever since...

Here is the very first pic of Ella, completely tube-free; this was her first attempt at removing her feeding tube!  It was out long enough for me to snap this photo.

THIS is July 22nd, her first tube-free day.  The first day of the rest of her life.

And here is what our little 3 pound baby looks like now... over 10 pounds!!

There's my little "lady".

Rocking tummy time.

On July 28th we tried a similar approach with Sadie.  Before making this call, Sadie would only eat about half of every meal by mouth.  One of our favorite nurses decided we should just pull the NG tube and see whether she would start to eat on her own, a method she jokingly (or not so much) called the "starvation method".  Guess what! From that point on, Sadie ate every single meal by mouth; she continues to do so.                            

"Yeah, I look REAL good sans tubes!"

 "To all of you naysayers..." 

(Sadie has quite the attitude)

A few days later (July 31st) Sadie joined us at home.   And here is what she looks like now...

Very smiley little girl!

 "Big" Sister Ella isn't the only one who can rock tummy time!

I've been trying to plan how I am going to update all of you on the last two months (since my last post).  I plan to first keep you posted on my recent events and when I can, I will post on events I've missed.  I hope you will continue to enjoy!  

Eye Exam

All premature babies are at increased risk of vision problems and a disease called retinopathy of prematurity ("ROP").  All premature babies born under a certain birth weight receive an eye exam in the hospital at 36 weeks. Ella and Sadie's eye exams were yesterday.  The doctor asked whether I planned to stay and when I said yes, he asked whether I planned to watch.  The latter of the two questions prompted me to follow up with, "What the hell are planning to do to my daughters?!"  I may have caught him a little off guard... he eventually picked up on my sarcasm and went on to explain that the examination may look a little barbaric but assured me that the girls eyes would be numb and that this was the only way to accomplish the exam.  He would use a metal contraption with little prongs that would hold their eyelids open and would then take a small blunt tool to stick in the back of their eyes to move the eyeball around so that he could see what he needed... of course with the aid of a very bright light which he would shine directly into their eyes.  Sounds awesome.

Curiosity got the best of me and so I decided to watch anyway - it definitely doesn't look comfortable, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.  Since I was watching, he took the time to explain to me what he was doing and what he was looking for.  He probably only paused for mere seconds to look up and tell me what was going on - but it sure felt like forever as he held his blunt tool in the back of Ella's eyeball and provided me with an explanation. After that I acted much less interested so as not to tempt him to prolong the exam just to tell me what was going on (especially since I have absolutely no recollection of what he said...).

In hindsight, I kind of wish I would have recorded it. However, I have once again failed you, so instead of seeing my girls' eye exams... I invite you to watch this delightful little video from YouTube of some other poor baby's eye exam.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5a1DP30IyM

The girls were pretty wiped out after the exam... either that or they were high.  I choose to believe they were just sleepy.

One Month

One month ago (last Saturday) Ella and Sadie made their grand debut.   They have definitely won our hearts and as stressful as it is to spend a majority of my time in the NICU, walking into the girls' room every morning is my favorite moment of every day.

Sadie Marie

Ella Claire

Oxygen. We have had a pretty busy week - so I apologize fora  delay in this new post!  Last we spoke, Ella and Sadie were both on oxygen.  As of Monday for Ella and this morning for Sadie, both girls are off oxygen! So far, both are doing very well.  We continue to work on bottle feeding and nursing - but are careful to take it slow so as not to overwhelm them with changes (which may cause them to go backwards with their breathing progress.  So that is very exciting!

Blood Sugar.  I've written a few times about Sadie's struggles with maintaining her blood sugar - well despite a few set backs, she is finally making great progress!  Sadie has maintained over the last couple of days as the doctors continue to try to discontinue her PICC line.  I think that they may attempt to discontinue the medicine and just run saline tomorrow.  [For any medical personnel that may be reading this... I am trying my best to recount exactly what I am being told, but please forgive me if my explanations don't make sense.  There is a reason I didn't go to medical school.  For the rest of you, you may continue to blindly trust my explanations.]

There was an extended period of time where I was convinced that Sadie had Addison's disease, would need part of her pancreas removed, or had a growth hormone deficiency.  These diagnoses were based on my extensive online research.  It is possible that the neonatologist laughed at me when I mentioned Addison's disease... because it is rare. Very rare. I suppose I should trust the doctors over the great minds bringing us Wikipedia.

Head Circumference.  To this point, I have not written anything about Sadie's head circumference measurements.  Probably because, once again, I took to the internet and was convinced of the worst possible situation... Now that I know things are probably fine, I am ready to explain.  Generally, the girls had been receiving weekly measurements - including measuring their head circumferences.  Sadie's measurements remained steady until a few weeks ago when the measurements showed that her head circumference increased by 2.5 centimeters in one week.  This is a lot of sudden growth (.5 - 1.0 centimeters/week would be normal for their age).  Well after allowing Google to convince me she had hydrocephalus and would need a shunt and a life full of shunt-related issues, her head ultrasound revealed that, alas, there was no hydrocephalus.

I understand that I should retire "Google", but it seems to be an addiction I just can't let go of!

Baby Got Back

The other day while changing the girls' diapers, I noticed some changes.  There was something different about my cute little premature daughters: butts.  I knew they had been gaining weight... but this was the first time I really noticed where that weight was going - apparently, directly to their asses.  I suppose this is good and cute now, someday they will be so sad that this is the first place of distribution for their bodies.  Ella and Sadie were born without butts; literally not even enough fat for a crack.   All of the sudden, my babies got back (if you were just tempted to correct my grammar... you somehow missed a major landmark of the early 90s...).

So why am I telling you about their butts??  First, why wouldn't I?  Second, this is my witty and charming way of telling you that I've heard your requests: you want weights (I know, I sometimes take the scenic route - but I always get there eventually!).  So I am going to keep this post dedicated to updating you on the girls' weight.  Of course, their weights will also be mentioned on other update posts... but at least here you will be able to see it all at once.  I will only be keeping the last 7 days so that the post doesn't get too long.  * For my communist readers: grams are in parentheses. 'Merica!!

Ella:
July 12, 2013: 4 lb 15.7 oz (2261g)

July 13, 2013: 5 lb 2.4 oz (2336g)

July 14, 2013: 5 lb 4.4 oz (2395g)
July 15, 2013: 5 lb 4.8 oz (2405g)
July 16, 2013: 5 lb 6.2 oz (2445g)
July 17, 2013: 5 lb 7.5 oz (2482g)

July 18, 2013: 5 lb 9.5 oz (2536g)

July 19, 2013: 5 lb 10.5 oz (2567g)

July 20, 2013: 5 lb 12.5 oz (2624g)

Sadie: 

July 12, 2013: 4 lb 1.3 oz (1852g)

July 13, 2013: 3 lb 15.4 oz (1798g)

July 14, 2013: 4 lb 4.7 oz (1949g)

July 15, 2013: 4 lb 5.3 oz (1967g)

July 16, 2013: 4 lb 5.8 oz (1980g)

July 17, 2013: 4 lb 7.0 oz (2014g)

July 18, 2013: 4 lb 7.1 oz (2016g)

July 19, 2013: 4 lb 8.4 oz (2055g)

July 20, 2013: 4 lb 9.9 oz (2096g)

When Ella Met Sadie

In my last post, I said that I would share what kind of awesome "three week birthday celebration" we had with the girls...

Since 3:09 on June 13 when Ella was born, the girls have not been together at all.  While they have been in the same room, they have been always been in separate beds - in fact, we use hand sanitizer each time we move from one of the girls to the other just to make sure that if one is sick, we don't spread the germs.

Blah, blah. Ryan says all you people really want are pictures of the girls.  So... here are pictures of the first time Ella and Sadie met... Enjoy!! :)

They love one another. 

 

 

The nurse wasn't really sure what to think; she had never seen someone attempt to hold twins quite like this...

Sadie is super excited about meeting Ella... Ella is really tired.

Ella is already jealous about having to share her mom with someone... this look is saying, 

"Seriously, Mom?!  What the F?!"

Ella's morning breath all up in Sadie's business.

I could have sat there all day holding the two of them... that is a lie.  While this looks peaceful, at one point both girls started crying and their oxygen levels started to dip down so both alarms started sounding.  I was stuck.  I couldn't stand up and put one down (becuase both are hooked up to either oxygen, IVs, and the monitors).  All I kept thinking was... "this is what it is like to have two kids". I had a minor panic attack... 

So sweet. 

I know this is a terrible picture of me.  But I loved this moment - so I am including the picture.

Happy 2,013th Birthday, America!

While America was celebrating her 237th birthday (or as Twitter reports - her 2,013th birthday), a much more important birthday was being celebrated in NICU room 4034: Ella and Sadie's three week birthday!!  Don't feel bad if you didn't get an invitation - it was a pretty exclusive event.  We had a pretty awesome celebration - but that will come in the next post!!  

Ella Update: 

Without giving a play by play, the only major change with Ella is that she is back on oxygen after being on room air (breathing with no assistance) for about 4 days. Doctors do not seem overly concerned because while she is still trying to figure out this crazy breathing business, she is also in an open crib learning how to maintain her body temperature AND learning how to nurse which requires mastering the art of simultaneously sucking, swallowing, and breathing. 

Other than the games she is playing with the oxygen (and my heart), Ella is doing very well.  She is now weighing in at 4 pounds and 8 ounces and the challenges that she is having are very typical for a baby born at her gestational age. Typical for a baby born at her gestational age.  Typical for a baby born at her gestational age.  This is my mantra - I have to keep reminding myself of this each time she decides to go back on oxygen, stop breathing, etc. 

Sadie Update: 

Sadie has been our little rock star since birth.  She is still a rock star and doing well, but she is now the one who is presenting a few more challenges.  Her blood sugar has not corrected itself as we were hoping it would.  As a result, she is being tested for a number of potential causes.  Labs were drawn on Friday.  They are testing the following levels: coritsol, carnitine, growth hormone, and insulin.  The cortisol and carnitine results came back right away and were not immediately concerning to the endocrinologist; they remind us that she won't really say anything until she has all of the labs back to complete the full "picture".  However, the growth hormone and insulin results will not likely come back until the end of this week - at the earliest.  There is still a chance (or so they say to the mother with blood shot, baggy eyes) that it will correct on its own... so pray for that because none of the other options are good ones.  

In addition to the concerning blood sugar levels, Sadie has seemed very easily agitated with her heart rate jumping to 200+ pretty frequently and quickly.  While that is high even for a baby, keep in mind that a baby's heart rate is going to be almost double an adult's at rest - the "normal" range for a baby is 120-160.  At the same time, she does this grunting stuff and her face turns purple.  I, of course, was convinced she was in great pain.. but when I described this to the doctor, he just smiled and asked me if it was possible that she was trying to make a bowel movement.  Grunting, increased heart rate, purple face - poor Sadie.  Although she has been going to the bathroom on her own - she has also started eating her milk with a high calorie supplement which may require her system to readjust and she may just have to work a little bit harder. 

Finally, Sadie had to go on oxygen on Friday.  Of course, this was very difficult for me and because she had not been on oxygen since the day after she was born, but it was also concerning for the nurses.  According to the books I have on preemies, infection or illness is usually the cause of sudden respiratory issues.  For this reason, they ran a few blood panels - fortunately, all came back normal.  Yesterday (Saturday) the doctor said that it was possible that she has excess fluid as a result of the IV fluid she continues to receive to correct her blood sugar.  We are working on this issue now and are hoping that once we get rid of the excess fluid she will be able to go off the oxygen (insert prayer here). 

More important than these issues, Sadie is in an open crib, is an alert baby girl whose smile is a miracle in and of itself coming from a peanut who at one point weighed a mere 2 pounds and 1 ounce.  Speaking of weight... Sadie is now weighing in at 3 pounds and 10 ounces... What a chunk! 

Two (er.. almost Three) Weeks!

So I continue to work on completing this post... but every time I sit down to finish, we have updated information. But here we go again!

These future Supreme Court Justices/professional tennis players/neonatologists/attorneys/track stars made their debut a whole two weeks (and 5 days) ago now... I originally started this post last Thursday... oops!  Although progress seems to be extremely slow... they have made such big strides since then or even since the "One Week" post!  

Ella is now weighing in at 4 pounds, 2 ounces.  She is now big enough to wear preemie clothes and the idea of finally being able to put some cute clothing on one of my babies is pretty exciting for me (I am planning a "Fashion" post in the coming days/weeks).   Another benefit to her growing size: we moved her from the isolette incubator and into an open "crib" today!!!  Lights.  She is no longer under photo therapy lights as of last Wednesday!  Oxygen.  Unfortunately, after a long weekend and a longer Monday morning (last Monday), Ella went back on oxygen.  Her oxygen levels continued to drop - we (and by "we", I mean this is what nurses are telling me) believe she just became too tired after 6 days of breathing on her own.  For preemies, it is very hard work to breathe on their own.  Hopefully, putting her back on oxygen will give her enough of a rest to continue developing those lungs and we will be able to remove the oxygen once again.  In fact, there is now talk about trying to take her off oxygen again!  Food.  Ella is now eating 33 mL every 3 hours and has started nursing.  For babies Ella's size nursing requires the same amount of energy required to run a mile so we take it slowly and continue to feed her through her NG tube. They also fortify her food to add calories - they are too little to eat enough food to receive the number of calories they need.  IV/PICC.  Both girls started with an IV and eventually received a PICC line to receive the necessary nutrients and fluids before they could start digesting milk.  Ella had hers removed last week!  This means that she has been tolerating her food well and is getting the nutrients she needs from milk alone - this is a big deal.  Unfortunately, our nurse the evening we removed the PICC line was my good friend Sara... who had to remove very good tape from my premature daughters very sensitive skin.  It was the first time I had heard Ella really cry...which of course made me almost cry.  Although Ella's pain was in no way Sara's fault or as a result of her method... I would be lying if I said there wasn't a small part of me that wanted to punch her (Sara: just a very small part of me - and I suspect that you know me well enough to know that is how I was feeling that night). 

Sadie is now weighing in at 3 pounds, 5 ounces!!! How exciting to cross the 3 pound barrier!  While she is not big enough to wear preemie clothes quite yet, she continues to rock the swaddle.  She looks real good doing it.  We have clothing just waiting for her though... Lights.  Sadie is also rid of the lights for now.  Like her big sister, her numbers also continue to creep up.  As of right now, we are holding out to see if they will balance out on their own.  Keep your fingers crossed that she won't have to go back under!!  Food.  Sadie is now eating 28 mL every 3 hours.  Her food is also being fortified - but with an even higher calorie supplement.  Blood Sugar.  Before every feeding, the girls' blood sugar is tested.  This has not been an issue for either of them until very recently.  Sadie's blood sugar has always been lower than Ella's - but still within normal ranges.  Recently, however, her blood sugar has been dropping much lower.   Unfortunately I Googled "low blood sugar in premature babies".  Bad idea.  Hopefully I'll have good news about how the issue has self-corrected over the next week!  Sadie still has her PICC line and will likely keep it until we can figure out what is going on with her blood sugar. 

A funny, less-informative post to come soon... 

Sadie Poops

Just to prepare you, this is a post solely about poop.  I never imagined this topic would creep into my daily conversations so frequently.  I suppose that is my life now (no complaints). 

I plan to someday including these blog posts in some sort of scrap or birth story type book for the girls so they are able to look back and realize how awesomely witty and charming their mother is.   I imagine a 17 year old Sadie looking through the book with a friend or boyfriend and coming across this particular post.  I imagine the discomfort on her face as she realizes that this post is dedicated to her making a bowel movement...  On the other hand, she probably won't understand the excitement of a new parent whose child had received 3 suppositories in 6 days finally pooping... or at least I hope not; hopefully someday I won't have a post that says "Sadie was just chosen by MTV's 'Teen Mom 6'!!!!!!".   So here it is - my apologies to the Sadie of 2030. 

The neonatologist does rounds every morning/early afternoon to receive updates on the last 24 hours and make any necessary adjustments to the girls' care.  This morning we once again discussed the fact that we were quickly approaching the 48 hour mark since Sadie's last bowel.  Another suppository was ordered... I started to mentally prepare for the crying that the evening and the suppository would bring.

Shortly after, I was able to hold Sadie while she ate.  She kept making these noises and her face would get all red and I just kept thinking that my daughter hates to be held by me; she is so uncomfortable and stressed.  Her heart rate would jump... and then she would relax and all would be fine for a couple of moments. Repeat.  It was after a couple of these spells that I began to feel "movement" in her diaper area.  I could hardly contain myself until the next time the nurse appeared and I proudly stated, "Pam! I think Sadie just pooped!!"  

That is right.  I was proud.  It was as if my child just won a race (a difficult one - not like "I won my heat v. a Hoover High runner" type of race), qualified for state, received an A in a difficult class, etc.  If this is any indicator of the future - I suppose my girls won't really have to work hard to exceed my expectations.  They can just continue to go to the bathroom and their mom will be perfectly content. 

I hope you enjoyed reading about Sadie's poop as much as I enjoyed the moment when I realized she was doing it! :)  Below are pictures is chronological order of Sadie's big moment: 

"Hey Mom... I am not sure what is happening here..." 

"Whoa... what was that?!"

 "Yeah... that's right.  I just pooped.  I am going on to do BIG things in life." 

... and she is out.  Exhausting morning.  

  

Weekend Update

I promised daily updates and I have already failed you! I know anyone who has been reading this blog has just been clicking "refresh" nonstop since Friday... But seriously, I was unable to find my wit and charm you all love and so I thought I would hold off.  Last week ended with really great news and we were very excited with the girls' progress.  While they are still doing very well, this weekend was a little rough on mom and dad.  

Ella Update

Ella is back under the photo therapy lamps after their bilirubin levels went up quite a bit between Thursday and Saturday.  Last night (Sunday) her numbers had increased even more, so a second lamp was added.  The good news: she projectile pooed all over Ryan last night and pooped twice more since.   Ever think you'd be reading a blog about poop?  I never thought I would be writing about it.  Again, pooping helps to get rid of bilirubin, so an explosive projectile poop is great news ... except for maybe Ryan (who was pooped on) and the nurse who had to learn how to take the incubator bed apart to clean it.  I, on the other hand, thought I may have split my c-section stitches because I was laughing so hard.  Lamps aren't a huge deal - it is just difficult to see them (1) take a step backwards; (2) put a mask back on; and (3) not be able to be swaddled.  

I wrote last week (I think) that Ella was able to go off of oxygen.  The first couple of transitional days were a little rough for her - or probably more rough for me - as we are told that a few drops in heart rate are common in babies, premature babies, and premature babies who are going through a big change or transition.  She was pretty good until Saturday when her oxygen levels started dropping and continued through last night when after one especially low drop, they decided to put her back on oxygen.  While we were obviously disappointed to see her take this step backwards, it came almost as a relief knowing that we wouldn't have to standby and watch her struggle to breath so much.  The nurses here can each tell us a hundred times that it is common in premature babies and that it isn't "the worst thing" - but it doesn't necessarily make us feel better when we can't do anything but standby and watch.  Absolutely the most helpless feeling.  

Sadie Update
Sadie is a rock star when it comes to breathing - but she just cannot poop!  This girl has had two suppositories (we were very disappointed to learn what those really are... poor girl).  Unfortunately, she has not yet been able to go without the suppository.  My sister-in-law, Tiffany, told me to be prepared because we would be praying for poop for years to come.  Yay: things to look forward to. 

Sadie also had to go back under the photo therapy lamps.  So she also is back to wearing her super hero mask and basking in the "sun".  I just received word that her bilirubin levels have dropped significantly and she may be able to get rid of the lamp today... keep your fingers crossed!! 

Photo Update
Fortunately,while both of the girls were out from under the lamps and were able to be swaddled, I was able to get a couple of really cute pictures! 

"Eat your heart out, Lebron" - Sadie (top pic) and Ella (bottom pic)

Ella's thoughts on photo therapy. 

No funny caption here... Sadie just looks so cute!

"I just pooped all over my dad and $25,000 bed just so I could get another bath." - Ella

Okay - so some of you may not believe me, but I swear that every time I read "Where the Wild Things Are" and get to the part where the "Wild Things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth...", Sadie smiles like this!  I tested this theory by reading it to her 4 times on this particular day and she smiled each time.  I read this out loud throughout my pregnancy so I am convinced she recognizes it! 

Another one where I have no caption - just a cute picture of Ella! 

#Fail

You know that nightmare you have right before a final exam when you wake up convinced that you have slept through the test?  Well ever since we found out we were having twins, my nightmare was not being able to tell them apart - these fears were heightened when I learned we were having two girls.  Everyone just laughed at me and said I would "just know"...

Well at the end of yesterday's post I included a picture of each of the girls sucking their pacifiers.  Except, both of those pictures are of Sadie... as it turns out, I really cannot tell them apart.  Looks like I am going to have to take some pointers from Dwight Shrute and mark them with a permanent marker. *Also, Ryan felt it was very important that I note that it was he who pointed this out to me.   However, I would like to note (about his note) that he only knows them by the sheets they are laying on, not their faces.

Oops.  I suppose I have time to figure it out... and if I don't, these girls are going to get away with a lot of shit.  :)

Either way, here is the first family photo.  Again, we only get to hold them for kangaroo care so please excuse the near-nudity! I am holding Sadie and Ryan is holding Ella (or at least I think... who really knows?).